The Tucker Max message board (Rudius Media) was shut down in October 2009. This website documents a selection of Tucker Max quotes from 2006 - 2010.

Well, I thought I understood how the Hollywood system worked. I was still arrogant enough that I thought truly understood the system. And you could think of it the same way as starting a company, like a first time entrepreneur saying I know how to do a startup. You may think you know, but you don't know until you've done it, right? I thought I knew how Hollywood worked. I thought I knew how the set would work, etc. So we picked our own director, and we ended up picking a director who essentially sold us in the room that he would act a certain way and do a certain set of things on the movie, but when it came time to do it did something totally different. And by the time we got to that point in the process, there was no way to unfuck the decision. And then because he didn't live up to what he said he would do, I instead of, what I should've done is said, "Okay, we are where we are. We can't change it. I need to figure out how to make the best situation possible out of this." What I did was the wrong thing. I got fucking pissed and I got angry and I didn't deal with those emotions. So instead they kind of came out in the way I acted towards him and towards a lot of other people, and it negatively . . . a movie set's a very sensitive, delicate artistic place and you can't act like that there. And I did because I was fucking pissed off because this guy had fucked me. And it negatively impacted the movie in a lot of ways, and I can't even watch the movie because I can see on screen in scenes where I know what's going on in the background and I know someone's fucking up a scene and I know it's at least partially my fault and it drives me nuts. It drives me nuts because I didn't have to act that way. Even with the bad decision, I could have just swallowed it in the short term and gotten the best product out and then dealt with the director later. I didn't. I was short sighted in that way.

There's no chance I would do another [movie]. I hate Hollywood and I hate almost everything about the whole process.

The one thing I learned with the movie was to never, ever do any sort of creative endeavor unless I have full, complete, real creative control, because if you don't have any creative control, you essentially have no control.

This book, I finished it, I turned it into Simon and Schuster, and I said, "Print it the fucking way I did it, don't change a fucking thing." And they said, "Yes Tucker, whatever you want". What are they going to say to me, right?

Hollywood doesn't work that way. Hollywood doesn't give a fuck. If you don't write the check in Hollywood, you don't matter. That's true even for Steven Spielberg. He gets more control than I do, but he still gets the boot on the neck in Hollywood.

That's a battle I've been fighting the last six years. That's why I cancelled two TV shows because both times they were going to do something stupid and I wasn't going to deal with it.

I went the movie route because I thought we could retain creative control. I went independent, turned down a bunch of money from studios because I knew the studios would screw up and I thought we could get it right, or at least get what I wanted.

And then I learned a hard lesson, a hard fucking lesson. There's all kind of shit with this movie in the way it was marketed, distributed and made that pissed me off, that I'm really angry about. Who's name is on it? Mine. And so shitheads like you are like, "Tucker, you fucked up this movie, whatever." I have to take all this shit for it, good or bad, I take all of it. I get the blame for something I didn't...

Well, the big thing that I would say would be that the co-writer Nils [Parker] and I would direct it. We had a director on the last one, and he just didn't - we thought he understood the vision, and we thought he got it, and it turns out he didn't...it seems like a little thing, but it makes a difference if you understand movies. Like, I think the movie is lit really poorly. I think it looks like - you know, I mean, we spent $7 million on the movie, which is not a small amount - it's not a huge amount for a movie by any stretch, but definitely more than enough to make a movie look professional, you know? And that version looked very indie and very gritty, and I just thought it looked like sh*t. Like, it didn't look good. And that's the director's fault...he fuc*ed up; he lit it incorrectly. And that seems like a small thing, but it makes a huge difference. Like, that's one thing I would do differently. And I don't know, there's probably a million other little things that we would do differently, but that's, like, the big thing.

The biggest thing I learned was, especially the way I operate and how I am as a person, if I'm going to do a creative endeavor, I need to have full, complete control. Top to bottom. And with my book and website, I always had that. With the website, definitely, with the book, basically, with the movie...I didn't in a lot of ways.

Nils and I, we had a lot of control, more control probably than almost any first time movie makers do within a normal studio system. We were in the middle between independent and not, because someone else paid for everything, and they kind of let us do what we wanted, but then once the movie was done creatively, it went in a direction that I did not want it to go, and there was nothing I could really do about it.

It's hard enough to swim in that movie current by yourself, but when you've got weights tied to you and someone pulling you in a different direction, it's almost impossible. You need to pick a direction and go with it. If you're going to be a big studio movie, go be that, and if you're going to go be a rogue independent film, go be that.

We had different people with different levels of authority on the movie that pulled us in different directions, and it just doesn't work. Either be in control or let someone else do it, but don't...too many chefs.

I'm going to be better next time. Failure instructs, failure improves. Failure shouldn't deter you, unless you're just bad at it.

I turned down $2 million for this script. There's absolutely no way that had I filmed the script through a major studio they would have done anything but fuck this movie up. They would have cut all the balls off the comedy, they would have put Seth Rogen and Dane Cook in it, they would have changed Tucker to make him fall in love, and all this stupid shit that would have driven me up a fucking wall.

If I had been either experienced enough or honest enough to look at and understand the evidence in front of me, it was obvious from an early point that this was going to happen. I could go on and on about the issues we had, and and now in hindsight, so many of them are so transparently clear and obvious it is annoying that we didn't see them at the time. Part of it was experience, part was naive optimism, and part was straight up malfeasance by certain parties involved with the movie. There will come a time when Nils and I will clearly outline and describe what happened and why, but honestly, I don't feel like doing it now, both for personal and political reasons. The fact is, the movie did poorly at the box office because we failed at one of the most, if not he most, important aspect of making a successful movie: Marketing that movie.

That's the bad news. The good news is that losing this battle does not mean the war is over or lost. Many many great movies that got no attention at the box office became classics by doing great on DVD, and there is no doubt in my mind that is what is going to happen with this movie. I've seen every reaction, read every email, seen every review, and talked to more people about this movie than anyone else. No one has been more on the ground and seen more actual audience reaction than me. I know what real people who have actually seen the movie think about it, and it's going to do great, given enough time. The same thing happened with the book. I mean, my book only sold 70k copies it's first year out, and those only to people who were already fans of the website. Three years and 1+ million copies sold later, I am now a huge literary star. Movie studios may be evil and stupid, but the motherfuckers can do something I can't do yet: Promote and market the fuck out of a movie.

But it's OK. The fact still remains that we made a great movie, a movie that I am very proud of, and a movie that the vast majority of people who saw, loved. And I believe that it will stand the test of time and end up becoming a classic and sell for years, just like the book has. Doing poorly at the box office sucks right now, but in ten years when "I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell" is one of the best selling DVD's of all time and spawned hugely successful sequels, etc, etc...well, I think everything will end up fine.

wasn't the message board really the main medium of conveying the messages you wanted to put across to your audience

Fuck no. Are you kidding? You really think an obscure little board I never advertised or talked about, one that only about 15k people a day use, is the MAIN way I contact my fans? Are you joking?

People, those things don't govern themselves. It worked so well because I spent a ton of time on it. If I just let it go, it would go to shit, which is essentially what happened over the past two years as I worked on the movie. I don't want to do that anymore--I want to finish my next two books, and I can't do both effectively.

Because they aren't very good at it, and they end up doing a lot of shit I don't want done and fucking shit up. The places on that board that ran well without me were the niche sub-boards, and those all spun off into their own boards.
If you are really upset over that place shutting down, you seriously need to examine your life. That thing was based around me, and it was a very small part of MY life. If it was anything more than an entertaining distraction to you, you need to get a real social life.

I agree, but you are only sad because you don't know what will replace it. This is only the end of beginning for me. After I finish the books, I have something way better that will replace it, something that will incorporate all the good aspects and remove the bad ones. Just wait and see.

I know many of you are capable of thinking for yourselves, so play this game. Ask yourself:

There is a reason he hasn't been involved in this movie since he showed everyone his directors cut, and answering those questions above can give you all the understanding you need of Gosse's attempts to spin the situation to help his career in the one interview he has done for this film (an interview he scheduled for himself through a contact with a friend).

Answering those questions above can give you all the understanding you need of Gosse's one interview he has done for this film. There is a reason he hasn't really been involved in this movie since he showed everyone his directors cut. I mean, it should tell you something when the director can't get basic facts right about his own movie--for example, Matt was cast LONG before we got to Shreveport, in fact he as cast before we even secured financing. It was Marika we cast when we were in Shreveport.

Look, Gosse has his own issues, and I don't care about them or want to discuss them beyond this post. They aren't relevant to me anymore, or to the movie, or to anything in the future.

Nils and I have a long and involved dissection of the movie being written right now. We will post it at some point for everyone to read, sort of like a scene by scene guide to what we were thinking and what each line/interaction means. We put a ton of thought into this movie, and if you look, you can find it, but this guide will help you see all of it.

I think that will clear up a lot of the confusion that some people have with some of the scenes or characters, and it's probably a lot more productive and easier to deal with than responding to random people and their random misunderstandings of various aspects of the movie.

Another thing I regret not doing: Having all this explanation up and ready to go the day the movie released. I feel like so many of these questions could have been addressed and answered and avoided a lot of confusion. Not for the haters or critics--they aren't going to do any research anyway--but many of the fans have missed stuff that I thought was obvious, but with hindsight, I can see might require some explanation for certain people. It seems like most people get most of it, but everyone misses something different, and a comprehensive scene-by-scene guide would have helped avoid this.

We'll get this up eventually, but I will add this to the things I wish I'd done differently.

A bit of criticism: I know that you preface your website with saying "I'm Tucker Max and I'm an asshole..." and that is fine but the excessive rage that you show in terms of responding to bad/stupid/mediocre posts and even criticism makes you sound like Troy Duffy in Overnight. I know from reading your blog that that comparison is something that you would really wish to avoid but you are crossing that line without apparently knowing it. Some of the posts you write sound like as if Duffy wrote them - truly. Take that advice as you will.

Where do I cross the line? I am serious--point out the posts that I have put up over the past month or whatever that you think are something Troy Duffy would write.

You may be right, but I feel like if anything, I am pretty patient with most of these idiots. For the most part, the people who I flame here are trolls or extreme fanboys who are butthurt over something ridiculous, and neither of them deserve patience.

And trust me, you would be shocked if I told you some of the stories about the shit that Darko and Freestyle and MRC and Pandemic either has done or wanted us to do. You wouldn't believe it. You literally would not believe the incompetence and lack of professionalism. It's shocking, even to us still. We've been swimming with an anchor around our neck. I'll explain it all later.

And by the way, to all the nerds who are so butthurt because I said things and made predictions that didn't come true immediately:

Look, I never said one thing that I didn't believe that the time I wrote it. Every prediction I made I believed in my heart. Every statement I made I thought was true. Clearly some of the things I thought have turned out to be incorrect. And I may have overstated things, used too much hyperbole, and over-promised, but I never lied and I never said anything I didn't believe at that moment. You know that means?

Some people who should have done their jobs didn't, and we didn't realize it until too late, and now--on a movie that had almost no margin for error--we are stuck with some huge errors, most of which were completely out of our control.

Thats a great idea. How about you call Sean McKittrick and tell him to buck up and drop 15 million do we can have a real ad spend?

Exactly. I love how all of you are so full of suggestions, without any concept of what the fuck is going on. Like how I DON'T MAKE ANY DECISION ABOUT WHERE MONEY IS SPENT.

Do you think I want the movie playing in crappy dead malls and in shitty outliers suburbs? Of course not. Freestyle booked those theaters, ask them why they are fucking up.

Do you people think I am making every decision on this movie? FUCK NO. If I was, I can guarantee you things would be going much different. But I'm not. So in the meantime, please forward your suggestions about spending money and booking theaters--whoich are often good suggestions, things I have said for six months--to the people who are making the really stupid marketing decisions that are fucking my movie.

Because its not me. Telling me is pointless. I have known all of this for months. And I have told it to those people. And they haven't listened to me. And now they regret it.

But that doesn't matter right now. What matters right now is where we stand today, and what we can do going forward. So unless you have a suggestion that involves the facts in front of me, and not so imaginary world where I have millions to spend on commercials and a huge staff of 100+ to implement all this shit, do everyone a favor and shut the fuck up.

And just an FYI--The only things that HAVE been effective are the online marketing and the tour. The evidence of this is the Chicago market--that market had a huge ad spend. NO EFFECT.

First off, of course we are going to keep promoting it. The problem is not hte movie, the problem has been the marketing--we haven't reached enough of my fans.

But I don't pay for this Darko does, and if they choose to stop, then we stop. If the movie looks like it has legs, we keep going. I will go for as long as they keep paying.

And dude--this thing going to DVD is not a bad thing. Of course I want it to hit as huge as possible theatrically, but there is zero doubt in my mind it will be huge on DVD. We actually make a ton more money on DVD as well. If it's a huge hit on DVD, and sells like 5 million copies on DVD in the first 18 months--something every realistic--the we're going to end up doing sequels anyway. It'll just be a little later than we anticipated.

The fight doesn't end with the theatrical release of this movie. Losing this battle doesn't mean the war is lost.

Mr. S: You guys mentioned being at bars in Chicago opening weekend awhile ago in some thread or maybe blog and have not said anything since. Where is this going to be? And I'm guessing you guys aren't making it to the Press Sneak Peak on Thursday night?

We have nothing else to do, we're just being lazy thats why we haven't posted it.

Are you fucking kidding me? Are you people such petulant children that you can't just fucking be patient and accept the info when it comes? What the fuck are you going to do with the info now that you can't do tomorrow or Friday????

If you live outside the US and are desperate to see the movie and can't find the release date in your country, then just pirate the movie and watch it online. I am serious. I have no issue with that.

Did you guys ever consider doing a "special shoot" trailer? I have no doubt that you guys could make a funny and engaging 2.5 minute short that would show the viewers what to expect, but also not have to worry about giving away any of the actual movie.

No, to be honest, we never really gave much thought to the trailer at all. It is fucking HARD to just make a movie; shooting a different trailer is like, not something we either thought about or focused on. Nils and I had our singular focus on one thing: Nailing the movie. Everything else was secondary. And to be honest, we just did not anticipate how hard it would be to make a trailer out of this movie. Lack of experience.

Beyond that, we are making and promoting a different movie in a different way. It is not going to go the usual way because it is not supposed to. You may not get it at first, but again, we are arguing about the final score while the first quarter just ended. It's goofy and pointless.

No, thats not the funniest part. The funniest part are all the idiots that are pissed that the movie doesn't look "revolutionary" enough to them. Or doesn't look "Tucker" enough. Or whatever. Not one of those idiots were 1% self-aware enough to then ask themselves the follow-up question: "Would I even know a revolutionary movie trailer if I saw it?"

Of course not. Would any of these idiots have picked Office Space as one of the great comedies ever made from the trailer? Or Big Lebowski? Or picked Slumdog Millionaire as an Oscar winner (like I did)? OF COURSE NOT! Not a single one.

The professional haters that are hating on the trailer are just doing their thing--they hate everything, and the fact that they had such a viseral reaction to the movie is actually good news, and all that will play in fairly obvious ways over the next 60 days (if you can't understand that, you are profoundly fucking blind to the realities of modern media).

But the fact that some of these people saying this stupid shit have been here for years, have seen this EXACT same thing happen with the book, and they are too stupid to remember it, is almost mind-boggling. I said for years my writing was revolutionary, was going to be huge, book would be a hit, etc, then the book came out, and a bunch of people said the same things to me about the book that the idiots are saying about the trailer now...and what happened?

The book is fucking legendary. Already on a collision course with it's destiny as part of the American canon.

All those people who shit on the book are doing what now? Well, they shut the fuck up about the book because they can't say shit about that, so they are trying the same thing with the movie. And what is going to happen this time? They're not only going to be wrong again, they're going to be wrong in such a more profound and public way, because the movie is even BETTER than the book.

The movie is awesome. The movie is going to do amazing numbers and change the way comedy is made. Pretty much everyone who has seen it agreed--even people who don't like the book. You've read dozens and dozens of the reviews posted here over the past six months. If you can't see it from the trailer, well, that means one of two things: Either the greenband trailer isn't doing a good job of showing what the movie is like (a definite possibility--my view of the trailer is colored by the fact that I've SEEN the movie), or you are just missing it. Either way, if you want to minimize how stupid you feel about yourself in the future, I'd hold off your proclamations about what you think of the movie, based on the trailer.

[There is a third possibility that will be part of the equation: The movie isn't going to appeal to all my current fans. Just like when I want from site to book I lost fans because I wrote a book for the non-fans, this movie was made for the non-fan, and as a result, some of the real hard core fans will hate it. A casualty of success, and one we are willing at accept. Especially if it means losing some of these people on this thread. And of course, it means picking up about 20 million more fans. Which will help dry the tears.]

Anytime I can bet on myself, I am down. It was ballsy and brilliant and I fucking loved it. And the best part: Because there was no studio who bought the movie from us, we control the distribution strategy AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, we control the marketing materials. This is why the trailer and the one sheet are exactly what Nils and Sean and I want, instead of being some piece of shit an idiot studio suit picked out.

That's been one of the funniest aspects of this process for me, is watching those people like you who are so obsessed with hating me that they literally spend more time reading about me than any fan does, try to deal with each step.

I mean, remember when I announced the movie early last year, and because the trades didn't write about it, you all went nuts with ridiculous claims about me lying and it all being a charade...and look what happened, we attached a director and actors right away. Or remember when I announced that we were financed, and it didn't run in the trades for like two weeks, and you went nuts claiming it was all bullshit...and look what happened, we got the finance deal of the centruy. And remember when that failed writer claimed to have read the script and hated it, and they went nuts celebrating...and looked what happened, we are being mentioned as potential Oscar nominees. And remember when the distribution deal took a few weeks longer to close than I thought it would, and they went nuts, and look what happened...we not only got distribution, we got an AMAZING deal.

And after each one of these steps, they just ignore all the predictions and proclamations they had made perviously--because they are now obviously false--and they move their target to the next step. "Well, he may have got a deal, but whatever, anyone can do that--IT STILL WON'T BE IN THEATERS!, "Well, it may be going in theaters--BUT IT'LL STILL FAIL!!"

That to me is going to be the funniest part of all of this: Watching the haterz try to explain away the huge success of the movie. Because make no mistake, that success is coming, and irony of ironies, they are actually HELPING to make it happen. Their hatred is helping to create the situation they are most dreading: Me as massive star. I could easily temper expectations, but the slight overpromising that started by accident has continued on purpose. It has become so rewarding because it causes SUCH a reaction from the haterz. They go nuts. It's awesome to get such an intense emotional reaction from such a small thing as optimism and enthusiasm--you can't buy that sort of energy. That hatred drives them to do all kinds of stunts that they think hurt me, but actually help, and help immensely. IF you understand how media works at all, you understand why.

From a psychological standpoint, the behavior is also interesting for another reason. I mean, look at what they do: They don't care about the movie or anyone involved in it, they only care about it as an extension of their almost pathological hatred for me. It's basic psychology to understand that people do not hate things they don't care about, so that became the question for me--why do these people who don't know me care so much?

There are the ones who get banned from here or who I insult over email--they lose their shit and rage at me, but that only lasts a short while. They register 20 times, post insane rants against me (os sometimes SLF), or they post things about me on some other forum, but eventually the person moves onto some fresher anger in their lives, as I was just a passive focus for their rejection anger.

But what about the ones who have been reading this message board for like, four or five or six or even seven years, not really posting, instead just silently hating, or just posting on one of the hate sites. The ones who claim to despise me, but when they write about me, they know every fucking detail of everything I have ever written about, like, to a level of detail that is almost frightening? The ones who spend hours and hours on my hate sites, writing long diatribes against me or elaborate treatises trying to explain away my success, or lengthy logic chains trying to claim for some reason I am actually a failure. These are the ones that really interest me, because they expend so much of their time and effort hating on me--its like they are running a parallel life to mine, doing as much work as I am, but instead of accomplishing anything, it's all just hating me.

Why are some people like this? I do not know for sure, but here is what I can gather, after getting numerous emails from a few of them over the years:

This type is ALWAYS male, usually very close to my age. They are the type that see themselves just the way I see myself--except they aren't actually living that life. They aren't taking risks, they aren't living their dream, they aren't following their passion. They WANTED to that, but have done the opposite, they have accepted the safety of the system in exchange for it's security, and they did it because they convinced themselves there was no other way, that they were doing the right thing. And then I came along--the same age, same intelligence, same looks--and succeeded EXACTLY where they failed. Maybe they even saw my success and thought they could beat me and tried and failed--and they can't handle the fact. Instead of facing their own shortcomings, learning from them and moving on, they instead look to heal their ego by trying to "prove" I am not a success.

Seriously--go read any of the hater blogs, or some of the nutjobs who post on the IMDB forums or something. It's almost unbelievable the amount of effort they put out trying to "prove" something I have said about the movie is either untrue or doesn't matter, and they have been doing this for YEARS, and they are wrong EVERYTIME! Of course they ignore all the stuff that doesn't support their arguments--the book spending four years on the best seller list and coming up on a million copies sold, for example. Just look at the massive argument they are in over distribution, that sometimes finds its way over here--they are in a tizzy because I haven't announced who both of our distribution partners are or how many screens its going to be on. This is somehow proof that everything is a fraud!

AHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA--The movie is done, it's going to be in theaters all over the country on September 25th, and that's it! It's over! But they're desperately struggling to hang on to anything that they can that will allow them to think I am a failure, so that they don't have to face the pain of their own existences, it's like...amazing.
They have put all of their sense of self into me failing--I don't know what they're going to do when the movie is a massive success, but I really can't wait to see it. They have invested so much emotional capital in my failure, when the opposite happens, at some point, the rubber will meet the road in their psyche, their cognitive dissonance is going to collapse, and they are going to lose it in a bad way.

THAT is going to be what's interesting. Not me failing. I have failed many times before, and I will fail many times in the future. I know how to deal with it, because my sense of self is not based out of individual projects: I process it, learn from it, and move on. I mean, if I fail at movies, no big deal, I can still write many more best sellers and do many other things. But what can someone who has based their sense of self on me not succeeding do when they can no longer construct elaborate arguments explaining away my success?

As soon as we closed the deal with Darko, I went to Box Office Mojo and looked up the exact number for highest grossing R comedy, and in my heart of hearts, that's always been my goal: To beat Wedding Crashers at 209 million....but from day one I have believed we could do that and I have always held that number in my heart as my personal goal.

And I can promise you that no one has ever gotten the backend deal that we got. Ever. You'll see this play out over the next few years if things go right, but what we will be capable of doing, no one has ever done. The old structure of the system prevented it. You probably can't see it because either you don't understand the studio system, or you understand it so much you can't see beyond it.

And we are marketing it the right way--by engaging fans in the process, being completely honest with them, and always treating them the way we would want to be treated, instead of shilling and lying to them at every turn.

Not at all. Our movie is nothing like The Hangover except in the vaguest plot descriptions, and in the most important way--humor--its way way better. Like, not even comparable. The worst jokes in our movie kill the best in The Hangover, even ignoring the fact that pretty much all the best lines were in the trailer.

Plus, I am super excited to see that movie do well. It proves the market for our concept--that hard R movies without stars, about guys and drinking are viable--and anything that movie can do at the box office, we can beat. Easily. It's like watching someone fight your opponent first, and you get to see exactly what you are in for.

If there do end up being a lot of comparisons, it will go poorly, but not for us. The Hangover is probably one of the best comedies of the last ten years, but all that means is that comedy has sucked for ten years. The days of being able to pass off dogshit like The Hangover as great comedy end on September 25th. We are going to sweep in out of nowhere and shake up the comedy world. The bar will be raised.

And if you doubt me, that's cool. Stand in line behind all the other the doubters--the ones who said I couldn't be a writer, or my website couldn't be a book, or my book wouldn't be a best seller, or I couldn't write a movie, or I couldn't get that movie made, or I couldn't get the movie distributed, etc, etc, etc. They have been wrong every time in the past, and they will be wrong this time.

I finally made the leap last month and bought an iPhone. This was for many reasons, but the main one is because I wanted to test out various apps in anticipation of the "I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell" iPhone app we will be launching (details coming soon).

OK, so I think I may have kinda lied to you guys, but not on purpose. I have said in the past that we weren't taking this movie to any film festivals to try to get awards or to get distribution, since we can get distribution without it. And that's true - we didn't need to take it to a festival to get distribution. DOMESTIC distribution, which is all I really care about.

But, in order to get foreign distribution, the decision was made by Darko to take the movie to Cannes and screen the movie for buyers. None of us went with the movie to do the Cannes thing, because it wasn't in competition and we'd already secured domestic distribution and this was just a screening for foreign territory buyers, so the only person to go with the movie was our foreign sales rep.

Now, every person who works in movie sales is, well...to put it politely, a salesman. This includes our foreign sales rep. Of course he told us that the movie killed and got tons of laughs and everything is sunshine and kittens, but I stopped listening to sales guys at least two years ago. It's not that I thought he was lying, but it's his job to hype the movie, so I discounted his comments as salesman puffery. Plus, comedy rarely if ever translates between cultures, and this comedy especially is very American, so I had emotionally checked out of the foreign market long ago. If we do well there great, if not, whatever.

"I'm sure you already have heard this, but someone I know from school just told me BIH played super well at Cannes. Apparently, it was the one movie in Cannes that all the assistants wanted to get into. Sold out the market screening and "had a lot of laughs." Just FYI."

Wow. Assistants flooding a movie in Cannes? That doesn't happen. But one report is just that: one report, especially when it comes second hand. Then yesterday I got this email:

"I saw your movie at the Cannes Film Festival. I was an intern working under the American Pavilion there and a bunch of us interns went and saw the first screening. My friends and I were the first ones there because we wanted to make sure we got in after the marketers. Anyways, thought you should know that I am pretty sure it did well due to the fact that all the interns are college students and the majority of us have read your book. In fact, because we liked it so much, one of the marketers actually turned around and asked us if we had been paid to go and watch the movie. Clearly this guy was not in the demographic the movie was trying to reach. Lucky for you, the interns were there to make sure that your movie was received well by everyone in the screening. Thought you would like to know since I am pretty sure you weren't in Cannes (though a few of us were looking for you just in case you were).

I have since talked to two other people - the only two people I know who were in Cannes - and both said they had heard similar things, with one even saying his assistant was one of the ones who went to the screening.

We did sell some territories, and are in the process of selling a few more, but I am not allowed to talk about the specific foreign sales results yet. But I don't really care about that aspect of this situation - who in America cares about foreign sales (except the people who have points on the movie, of course)?

What really makes me smile is that, without any press or buzz or promotion, both screenings were packed with American assistants, to the point where the marketers thought we paying people to show up. You can't buy that sort of excitement. You can only get it by making something great.

I keep telling you guys, the evidence is there to see this, you just have to know where to look:

David Zuckerman was the first one to say the words "oscar" and "screenplay" to Nils and I in the same sentence. I scoffed at him, thinking he was just being nice to me.

Well, I have had someone else say that. Not to me, but to other people. And not just some scrub, but someone who has an idea of what they are talking about. Their exact quote was something to the extent of "sleeper nomination for best adapted screenplay." I wasn't there, I can't confirm this, but...I was told this by someone who has no reason to lie to me.

Look, I expect massive, massive commercial success for this movie. No theatrical gross you could tell me would shock me for this movie. But any sort of awards-type recognition - that will shock me. I would be blown away by an MTV movie awards nomination, much less a real awards show nom. Not because I think the script doesn't deserve it, but because we are such outsiders and because this movie is so different in so many ways, I just don't think it'll happen. I would take any bets against that happening. No fucking way the Academy is going to nominate two random guys who made an indie movie and aren't even in the WGA. No way.

I don't expect any recognition of my work - book, website, movie, whatever - ever from any mainstream organization of any sort. At least not for a long time. But that's OK - as long as fans love it, I am happy.

EDIT 3: Someone sent me this link, which is from the LA Times movie forum. No idea who wrote that.

EDIT 4: I guess Bunny was actually the first to tell me that our script would get Oscar attention. But she is kooky and usually way far ahead of her time, so I never pay attention to her predictions.

As we continue to build out the site for the movie, one of the things we will do is link every review or discussion of the movie we can find online. Good or bad, it doesn't matter what people say, as long as they talk about the movie, we will link it (and of course, I don't give a shit if the writer is a notable film critic or just some dude with a blogspot site, we will link you, everyone knows the critic is dead anyway).

Aside from giving people incentive to write about the movie or the movie blog, I want to make sure we have an independent record of what people say, because I want people responsible for their views after the results are in. There is no doubt in my mind that a lot of people are going to shit all over this movie long before they see it and long before it opens at the box office, and I want to make sure that they can't hide or claim another view once it comes out. This is going to be a polarizing movie for a LOT of reasons, and I want there to be a record of who is on what side. So here's what I want you people to do:

Every review, blog post, commentary, whatever opinion piece it is, please post a link here. I don't care if you wrote it, someone else wrote it, you found it by accident, whatever. This thread is going to act as the temporary page for posting things we find about the movie until the main site page is up, then we'll move it all there.

I thought I had learned that lesson by the time I published my book, but I don't think I really learned the humility that comes with understanding your place in the universe in any true way until this past year. The events of this past year (making a movie, falling in love, starting counseling, etc, etc) burned a lesson into me I will always hold in the front of my mind:

No matter how smart or right you think you are, never forget: What you don't know is infinitely greater than what you do.

Nothing stays the same forever. I can tell you with 100% certainty that by this time next year, the RMMB will not exist in its current form, if for no other reason than because I am going to change it myself. In early to mid 2010, we plan on rolling out a whole new look and system to all the Rudius sites, and completely revamp the entire community aspect to them, including this place. I don't want to go into detail, mainly because all the details haven't been settled, but the changes I do know are coming are really cool. [Ask Ryan about RMOSEIP. I cannot wait to start that].

I have definitely posted a few times bragging about the movie, but that was mainly early on.

If you look at what I'm doing, I'm not bragging about the movie or just hyping that its going to be big. I am showing you people that, before the event occurs, the evidence was there to predict the outcome. It was subtle and non-obvious, but if you look in the right places, you can see it coming. The pieces to the puzzle are spread out, but they are there.

Because I think its funny that everyone always says that no one can predict success in Hollywood, and that hit films like this are Black Swans, and shit like that. They're wrong. Within a certain set of parameters, you CAN predict a lot about what people will and won't like, you can predict what will and wont be received, that its possible to look at the real evidence to see this. It's just that the current Hollywood establishment is terrible at it, not that it can't be done.

What I'm trying to do, both to learn for myself and to teach my readers, is to find out what to look for in order to make accurate predictions of the future in this business. And you can only do that by making predictions PRIOR to the event, then judging to seeing if you are right or wrong and why, based on what happens. Ex post rationalizations of events are worthless.

Thats why its comical that all these talking heads on CNN are making themselves out as experts. Really? You didn't have ANY CLUE that crisis was coming, why the fuck do you think you can pass yourself off as an expert now? Everyone makes mistakes of course, but to miss all the signs about this event when you are supposed to be an expert in the field is unforgivable. Especially when it was glaringly obvious even to someone like me (granted I was just reading Umair, Taleb, Roubini and others, but still, I got it), means you need to shut up.

My point? I'm not just blindly wishing for success for this movie. I am telling you it will be a success, and most importantly, I am telling you WHY it will be a success before the fact, and you can judge me by these predictions after the fact.

If it turns out that this thing rides to a 210 million dollar box office based on it word of mouth starting in the 18-24 year old age group and in select internet circles and is regaled as a classic comedy--then I was right, for the right reasons, and I should be considered an expert. I called it before it happens, exactly how it would happen. If it crashes and burns, then I was completely wrong and I have no idea what I am talking about and shouldn't be making movies. And it if does something in between--say 80 million, and gets a demographic profile I didn't predict--well, I was still kinda wrong. Being right for the wrong reasons is mostly luck, and I'll need to tease out what was me and what was luck. Being right for the right reasons means you are probably onto something.

And that is how you learn. That is how you test a theory, how you progress as a thinker, how you become an expert in the meaningful sense. You learn everything you can about a system, construct a predictive theory about how it works, test the theory over and over and refine it according to the results.

So instead of thinking I am just hyping my movie, or being arrogant Tucker, or counting my chickens before they hatch...pay attention to the deeper meaning, and maybe you'll learn something.

For over two years, I have been telling anyone who would listen that this movie was going to be big. Everywhere from my message board to this blog to private conversations - I have said it over and over again - this thing is going to be big.

I was proud of this movie before anyone saw it, and we've already done three screenings and have averaged a 92% score, so I know this thing is going to kill with audiences.

I've thought about this a lot, and depending on what facts I want to assume, I could make a very good argument for it making anything from 20 million all the way up to 200 million. But here is the one fact I cannot assume away: Right now, it is beyond anyone's ability to accurately predict the gross because of the numerous variables that have yet to be decided. Who we pick to distribute, what weekend we open, what's going on with the economy - there are too many factors to even list and any number I would guess would be just that: A complete guess. I cannot predict what this movie will make - at least not right now - but I can tell you what I think about the movie: Though this movie is extremely funny, it's more than that. Though the acting is amazingly good, it's more than that. Though the lighting and cinematography is beautiful, it's more than that. I think we made something special.

This is great news because the similarities between Twilight and Beer in Hell are definitely going to help us with distributor negotiations and other things like that. Hollywood is all about imitating success, and this success is coming at a great time for my movie.

That being said, I don't want to go too crazy with the comparison here, the Twilight series of books (there are four of them) has sold over 17 million copies worldwide. Just the first book in the series has sold like 2 million copies domestically, which is way, way more than the 500k copies my book has sold.

I had an image in my head of what this movie should be, how it should look and feel and what it should be. After all, this entire project began as my life, was brought into existence by my writing, and was driven forward and into a movie by my will. It began as nothing more than a dream I had, and as I sit here, having just seen us film all the scenes that I lived and breathed and wrote and dreamed about, I truly believe we did it, and we did it right.

Don't get me wrong - it wasn't perfect. There were details here or there that I thought were off, maybe a scene or two that didn't quite pop the way I wanted, things like that. No filmmaker has ever finished a movie and thought they got every detail in every shot right. But not only did we get all the big things right, we got almost all of the little things right, and I am pretty confident that the things I don't like are the types of things only I would notice.

What more can I say about Bob Gosse? Other than the fact I thank God every day we were lucky enough to get him to direct the movie, I'm not sure. EVERY financier (except Darko Entertainment) questioned our selection of Bob Gosse as director on this movie, and now that we are finished shooting, I have to say it: I told you I was right about him! Not only was he the right pick to direct this movie, at this point I can't even imagine anyone else doing it, and keeping it together. Bob had the impossible job of containing and dealing with Tucker Max on his first movie, and he not only did it, he made a great movie in the process, and taught me a lesson I needed to learn. I haven't written about it because now is not the time and this isn't the place, but Bob and I had our issues during filming. That story - the one about the movie behind the movie - is very interesting and will be told in full one day, but I will say this now: Bob saved me from myself, and in the process helped me more with life than he did with the movie. And he directed the movie - which should tell you how much I have learned from Bob Gosse.

This is the movie I wanted, the movie I wished for. Everyone I just thanked came into my creative universe, bought into my creative vision, and did the job I asked them to do, in a better way than I could have done it and adding a lot of value in the process. If this movie succeeds, it will be because of everyone I listed above, not me. It may have my name on it, it may be about my life, but I will only deserve a very small part of the credit for success.

But here's the irony: If it fails, it'll be my fault only. If this fails, it'll be a failure of vision. It'll mean that it was rotten from the beginning, and nothing any of these people could have done would have saved it. They all, individually and as a group, did an amazing job effectuating a vision I originated. They not only did their jobs, each of them did an amazing job - they cannot be blamed if something was wrong with that original vision.

If success comes - and I think it will, in large doses - it will be because of all of us. But failure will be mine alone.

People, if you want to understand my media strategy in a nutshell, there it is. For my whole life, I have always bet on myself. This movie is no different. Everything I am doing, my entire strategy is based on the movie being great. If you understand that, you should be able to figure out the rest.

You're obviously familiar with psychological biases so I won't post some banal link to overconfidence bias etc. and for all I know you are quite right in your assessment. However, I'm not aware of any sufficient empirical evidence that shows who can make successful non-quantifiable predictions or how these predictions are made. I could be reading you wrong, but I don't think I'm in disagreement with your previous posts. Empirically, there just doesn't seem to be a valid way ex-ante to determine whether or not your method of producing this money would provide a solid ROI. Philosophically there are certainly reasons for you to make a movie this way. And for all we know, you do in fact have some forecasting ability that other people in the movie business lack. But if someone else was planning on investing a big pile of their own money, it's understandable why their decision making framework would be different.

Yes dude--RIGHT NOW TODAY, there is no proven way. I'm saying I think it can be done, and I am in the process of trying to prove it. But gimme some fucking time man, I can't just fucking snap my fingers into a solution to how to accurately predict inherently unpredictable events. It's only one of the defining problems of humanity. I'm smart, but fucking a, I'm not theordore manswell over here.

We are going to knock this out of the park, it's going to be huge, we're all going to get rich and make a bunch of awesome sequels, and everyone associated with it will always look back on this as being a landmark time in their life, both financially and creatively

I'm telling you people: You don't know how big this movie is going to be. Most people are doubting it, and that's fine, but even the ones who think they believe in me, don't really know.

Not only is he very good at all the things that come with being a director (dealing with actors, laying out shots, etc), but the man has infinite patience and calm. This pretty much makes him the complete opposite of me, and it makes for a perfect creative symmetry. I am hot-headed and rash and angry, and amidst my storm of raw emotion and creative fire, he is as calm and placid as a Shaolin Monk, never faltering or wavering or being anything other than serene, with Nils being like a balancing point in between our two extremes. It's pretty awesome, actually.

But the thing is, this movie does have a star: Me. My book has sold 350k+ copies, my website has gotten tens of millions of unique visits over the past five years, and I have built up a huge fan base over the past six years. I am not saying I can open a movie on par with Will Smith or Adam Sandler, but my name is going to have a lot more pull than most actors, directors or writers. Fuck man, I could shit in a bag and draw more people than saw David Mamet's last piece of crap.

OC/DC. What is that? It's an original script Nils and I have just finished. I am not going to talk about it, other than to say one thing:

I'm not kidding. There is no question in my mind that IHTSBIH is going to do great and launch Nils and I and my company. But everyone will think its just luck, that we'll just do the sequels and that'll be it, that we're one hit wonders. OC/DC is going to be our first movie that has nothing at all to do with anything on this site or Tucker Max related, and it is going to blow people away.

I'm not going to talk anymore about it, and don't ask. Just remember this post when it drops in 2 or 3 years and sets new records.

I will release all major versions of the script probably the week after opening weekend. Something like that, and Nils and I will write up a walk through of them, showing where the major changes happened and how we came about them. It'll be sort of like a forensic examination of how an idea becomes a script.

A version of the script has leaked. You may end up seeing it somewhere. I've seen it, and here's what you need to know:

It's not remotely close to the script we are using. The leaked script is Version 7. It was finished sometime in May of 2007. We are now on Version 12. That was finished in December/January of 2008. The changes from then to now aren't little. Version 9 was almost an entire plot and structure rewrite. We did take a few individual scenes from Version 7, but that's it. Version 7 is quite literally not the movie at all, not even half of the movie.

If you see it and want to read it, it's up to you, but know that it is almost nothing like what we will end up shooting (it has major plot and story issues, which is why we did a complete re-write). But at the same time, there are also spoilers in there--its not completely different from the final script. If you read it, you'll go into the movie and know a few of the scenes and situations. I know I prefer to go in fresh, but some people don't care.

I love that of all things to leak, the old script leaked. And why now, as opposed to earlier? I haven't sent that version of the script out to anyone in months and months and months. This is so comically awesome on so many different levels. I can't wait until people start accusing me of posting it to drum up interest, just like Katy Johnson and I conspired to create her lawsuit against me and get all that press.

First off, until I started seriously writing at age 27, being involved in Hollywood was never my goal or desire.
I realized I was actually "doing this" in 2003. It felt fleetingly exciting, until the crushing reality of the entertainment business sunk in.

When I realized the movie was a go, I was much more prepared than I was in 2003. It felt like I was undertaking an immense endeavor, and that this was the first small step in a long journey.

There are times when celebration is appropriate. Immediately after the first few steps is not one of those times. I'll pop the champagne when the box office numbers start coming in on the opening Friday, and we are projecting at a 25 million dollar opening weekend.

Mr. X: You'll probably dismiss this out of hand as well, but I'm certainly not going to let you have the last word just because your lackeys have convinced you that everything that erupts from that puckering maw on the front of your face is spun *beep* gold.

I'll make my prediction now: If your movie gets made for say 8-12 million with mid-level names, is well-promoted and you get into more than 1200 theaters or so, you'll open in the 6-8 range, and finish with about 20 million.

Movie budget is 6 million. There are two leads (Tucker and Aaron) and they will be played by nobodies. The two main supporting roles will probably by nobodies as well, though we may get mid level names. I am guessing we open at 20-25 million, and North American gross will end up slightly over 100 million total. About the same as Juno, give or take.

What do you want to bet? Name it, but make it worth my while. I don't play around with piddly *beep*

And beyond that, you are COMPLETELY missing the point of the movie website, and what I am going to accomplish by it. It's comical really. You even make my point for me in your email, yet you don't see it.

I love people like you. It's because of people like you that I am going to totally disrupt the entertainment business. You people--pretty much everyone in the entertainment business--have no ability to see anything other than what already exists. It's awesome. So much opportunity out there because of you people. - Tucker Max

Mr. X: I'll think on the bet for a day, I agree it should be good. As for the other, what am I missing? I -worked on- the first big viral ad campaign for a movie.

Certain mechanisms in this industry don't change for a reason. Hollywood still won't admit it can't market past opening weekend for example...word of mouth is still the most powerful tool, after 80 years. As far as "people like me"...that's sort of laughable, I agree. So what's your master plan? My first question was how a website will expand your base audience for a movie, and you never answered it. One of your goons said I was thinking short term. Past the 70/30 split in the theater then their cut of the DVD's, a studio doesn't really care what happens with your movie, there isn't anything after the money is made. I wasn't allowed to respond to Bunny's assertion that SNAKES ON A PLANE was made by the internet. That movie is the Golden Goose of my whole argument...it TANKED next to what they anticipated based on teh interwebs "buzz". And as far as vision goes, my projects may or may not get made but I get every meeting based on originality of concept. I guess my last question is this; If you have a Master Plan for the greatest and most clever movie website integration that the world has ever seen...why are you asking your forum nerds what should be on it?

You like making assumptions, don't you? Who said this was a studio movie? Who said I wanted the website to bring people to the movie? Who said I am asking my goons what should be on it, especially when I already know whats going to be on it? Once again, you are thinking only in terms of what has been done, and not what can be done. Just come up with something worth betting. Though, ultimately, it won't matter. The only bet that matters is the movie itself, and how well it does. I am already betting my entire career on it. It'll either succeed wildly, and you and the Hollywood establishment people like you will do exactly what the publishing people have done--try to copy me--or it'll fail badly and my ideas will be proven wrong and everyone will ignore me. - Tucker Max

Mr. X: The loser buys a billboard on Sunset of the winner's design. It runs for a month.

Mr. X: Sunset may be a bad choice. I would have guessed 5%-8% of that, although I know the guy that made THE ROOM is able to afford one on Highland near Sunset for months on end.

If we can find a good location for 10 grand or so, what do you think about the idea?

Mr. X: It would hurt, but it wouldn't ruin me. Are the numbers I mentioned below the targets? Within plus or minus 20 percent, or it's a no-win. Additionally, we're only talking about first-run gross domestic box office, not second run or international, is that correct?

They're lined up. It's just a matter of who will give us the deal we want. - Tucker Max

Mr. X: I'm asking this is all seriousness and I'm not trying to challenge you but I've got to know;

Do you know what an overall deal is? I had pretty serious discussions with a studio to sell this script, and pen all three sequels, and get an overall deal, and the numbers thrown out were in the eight figures.

But I do know what gap financing and soft money rebates are. I'm sure they're terms you're very familiar with yourself these days.

You know whats funny is that if you put the immense emotional effort you've dedicated to me into something productive for youself, you might not be such a failure. - Tucker Max

"I am guessing we open at 20-25 million, and North American gross will end up slightly over 100 million total. About the same as Juno, give or take."

We're going to do way more. It may not open more, but it will do more in the end. Big numbers, I think. We'll see. - Tucker Max

Go rent the documentary Overnight. It's about Troy Duffy. It was my "do not do this" guide to Hollywood.

BE YOURSELF. Do not lie, pose, front--whatever. No one will look down on you for being a nerd or gay or something else I am not, but everyone will hate you if you lie. Don't do it.

If you are absolutely honest with yourself about the criticism, then it can valuable. But if someone comes at you with a good critique and you ignore it because of your pride fucking with you, then you are only hurting yourself. One of the things I've had to learn over the past three years, and maybe the hardest lesson I've ever had to learn, is to not let your pride interfere with your goals.

We have a distributor and it's a major. I'm not allowed to say anything until the trades make the official announcement. - Tucker Max

IHTSBIH will be released into thousands of theater just like any other Hollywood movie. - Tucker Max

Making this movie was never the end goal for Nils or myself. Never. This movie is just a launching point for something much larger.

In addition to building a franchise off of this first film project, we have tons of ideas for Rudius media. Some are easy to envision (books, movies); others will take a lot more resources and be dependant upon certain benchmarks associated with domestic receipts and other factors that I will explain soon.

The business plan for Rudius is diverse to say the least and will surprise many people. Without giving away too many secrets I will list just a few of like 20 venutres we will be exploring.

Rudius Air: We are already in talks to purchase or lease two high-end private jets that will cater to specically to filmmakers. More on this later.

Crossbow and Rifle range: We have met with a few commercial realtors in Los Angeles to help us scout a location for an indoor firing range that isn't limited to handguns. There is a huge potential market for this in Southern California. People are just to lazy to do the research.

IHTSBIH Bar/Restaurant(s): Depsite the plethora of places to eat in Los Angeles, there are only a few places to go and actually drink (without being surrounded by cokehead actors in shiny shirts). The problem why so many bars fail in this town is because everyone overthinks the concept. Not us. Don't gte me wrong--There are HUGE obstacles for this; a liquor license being one as they are near impossible unless you stick to serving just beer and wine. We've run a broad concept past a few investors and got amazingly POSITIVE feedback. Again, this would be two years out at least, but two years is nothing in the timeline we have fashioned. - Tucker Max

Nils and I went to look at planes this week. Dan at BlueStar jets picked us up and gave us a tour of their company. Five star treatment all the way, even flying us in a new Beech Jet 400A which seats 8 people comfortably. Rudius Air is now a real possibility.

One of Dan's partner's at BlueStar actually played college ball under Bobby Knight. The fact that he was impressed by me was staggering in light of his achievements both academically and in college sports. He knew of me because his daughter is a fan of my book. This brings up another demographic that few of the ardent critics care to admit; my readership is pretty much split 50/50, male/female. That is a huge factor for the domestic box office. More about that later.

Just received the mission statement for specific digital strategy for the film from Carrot Creative head Mike Germano. This is going to be huge. Bigger than Blair Witch; more effective than Snakes on a Plane.

On September 25th the rules in Hollywood will be tossed aside as a new way of film distribution rolls out. And no one will see it coming. - Tucker Max

This movie has always been about making art. It has never been about money. If we wanted money, Nils and I could have taken the 8-figure deal that was put on the table.

Ft. Hood screening going great, same as all the screenings. I cannot wait until September 25th. Private jet, here I come.

I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell American Theater Performance

2009

Date (click to view chart)	Rank	Weekend Gross	% Change	Theaters	Change / Avg.		Gross-to-Date	Week #
Sep 25–27	25	$366,909	-	120	-	$3,058	$366,909	1
Oct 2–4	26	$305,465	-16.7%	210	+90	$1,455	$846,103	2
Oct 9–11	33	$183,825	-39.8%	266	+56	$691	$1,181,695	3
Oct 16–18	50	$56,476	-69.3%	132	-134	$428	$1,357,585	4
Oct 23–25	69	$14,430	-74.4%	36	-96	$401	$1,401,718	5
Oct 30–Nov 1	78	$8,211	-43.1%	19	-17	$432	$1,417,696	6
Nov 6–8	86	$3,861	-53.0%	8	-11	$483	$1,425,993	7

This information comes from Box Office Mojo

I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell DVD Performance

DVD Sales Performance
Released on DVD:	January 26, 2010
DVD Units Sold:	49,313
Consumer Spending:	$985,767

This information comes from The Numbers

Tucker Max Quotes

I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell American Theater Performance

I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell DVD Performance